For our Bride: The Balancing Act and Making Your Dream Wedding Come True

Being a bride is a balancing act in many ways. One of the toughest jobs you have is to keep all of the decision makers involved in your wedding happy. You have to establish priorities as a couple, and decide on what means the most to you. Then…

You need to figure out who else will be contributing to your wedding budget, and what spoken or unspoken expectations come with that financial contribution. Even if there are not immediately spoken expectations, they are there. Your father may be making a small contribution and seem laid back (but he assumes you want him to walk you down the aisle), your grandmother may want to pay for your gown (as long as it’s not strapless), mother may tell you that she trusts you to select a menu (as long as it doesn’t include fish), and his mother may make a passing comment that she knows a photographer (but what she is not saying is that she fully expects you to use said photographer).

Here are a few tips to help you navigate these tricky waters:

• Start the conversation early – the earlier you start to talk about each person’s vision for your wedding, the better. This gives you the most amount of time to find common ground.
• It is your day, be careful how often you assert that – everyone wants you to be happy with your wedding day. The memories will be most vivid for the two of you. BUT, you will surely earn the title of Bridezilla if you overuse that statement.
• Be prepared to make concessions – as you and your fiancé decide what is most important to you, also start to think about areas that you are willing to bend to keep people happy.
• Listen to others’ wishes – while you may be exhausted of listening to others opinions, you never know when someone will offer up a suggestion that you truly are excited about.

The old cliché is true, you can’t keep all of the people happy, all of the time. It is definitely in your best interest to figure out which people are most important for you to please, at least some of the time.

BBFN (Bridal Bliss for Now),

Olivia

Guide to Tipping

When it comes to your big day tipping your vendors and reception attendants is probably the last thing on your mind.  It is, however, a service industry standard practice.  Luckily there is a simple way to know how much to tip each person.  Before we get to the nitty-gritty of dollar and cents for tipping those who have helped in your special day, there are a few details to take care of.

First, please understand that a tip is never an obligation, unless it clearly states in your contract that a service charge is necessary.  Even though not all contracts will say that a service charge is expected, most vendors will expect a gratuity from you.  It is up to you as to whether or not you would like to tip them.  Remember that you are not tipping the owners of these businesses, just their employees who are actually doing the service such as delivering décor or a cake.  You can, however, tip the business owner if their service goes above and beyond your expectations.  If you do not want to offer a monetary thank you, simple thank you notes go a very long way as well.

Secondly, make sure that you have assigned someone to take care of handing out all of the tips for you.  This can be a maid of honor, best man, a close family member or friend who is not in the wedding party, or your wedding planner if you have one.  Although it may seem impossible to think of relinquishing control over such amounts of money and entrusting them to someone else, it is not a detail a bride or groom should be worrying about on their big day.  The wedding day should be as stress free as possible and you should be doing no running around to find the appropriate people you need to tip. 

Below you can find a brief breakdown of specific people to tip, how much to tip them, and when the person in charge should hand out the tips.

Wedding Planner

This is one of those case-by-case scenarios.  If your wedding planner was exceptional, then you will likely want to tip them.  Be aware that they do not expect anything from you in the form of a gratuity, but even a simple thank you note with professional pictures are always appreciated  If you do want to provide some form of gratuity, then it can be a nice gift or 15% of the fee they charged.  This tip can be done at the end of the reception by the bride and groom themselves or can be mailed after the honeymoon.

The Beauty Team (Hair and Make-up Artist)

When you are getting your hair and make-up done for any event or even just on a day-to-day basis, a tip is always expected.  Your wedding is no different.  In fact, giving a tip to them on your wedding day is even more important than any other time.  You should be tipping them 15-20% and if they have to take care of extras such a fixing someone’s hair or touching up the make-up, then be sure to throw in a little extra.  These tips should be taken care of at the end of your services. 

Delivery and Set-Up Staff

These tips go to anyone who is delivering anything for your wedding or to your suite for the big day.  They should only be about $5-$10 per person depending on how much they are delivering and how far they have to go to deliver.  You can give these tips to the catering manager or to your wedding planner before the event, so they can hand them out as the deliveries are made.

Those who pronounce you man and wife (The Wedding Officiant)

The wedding officiant is never expected to be tipped.  If he or she belongs to a church, synagogue, or temple, then it is customary to make a donation to that place of worship.  If you are a member, this may impact the amount you decide to donate.  If you are also paying to use their venue for the reception, feel free to tip a smaller amount since they are charging you to rent out the space.  If you are having a nondenominational officiant at a non-religious venue, then they will charge you for their services, so no tip is expected. As a general guideline, expect to make a donation of approximately $500 to the temple, church, or synagogue and you can give an optional tip of $50-$100 to a nondenominational officiant if you are exceptionally pleased with their services.  These tips and donations can be done before the wedding, or if the officiant is at your rehearsal dinner, then the person in charge of tips can pass it to them.

Wedding Shutterbugs and Movie Makers (Photographer/Videographer)

You are never expected to tip the photographer or videographer if they are the owner of the studio, but if they are not, then consider giving each person a tip of $50-$200 per vendor at the end of the reception. 

Wedding Reception Staff

The wedding reception staff will include your on-site coordinator, banquet manager, and head waiter.  These people usually have an approximate 2% service fee built in to the contract, but if they do not, then a tip is necessary.  The tip for each should be 15-20 % of the cost of labor for the food and beverage.  These tips are taken care of before the wedding if they are included in the contract; otherwise you need to wait until the end of the reception, so you have the final bill to figure out percentages.

Wedding Reception Attendants

This includes your bartenders, waiters, parking, bathroom, and coat-room attendants if you have them.  Deciding how much to tip them can usually be found in your contract.  You can always tip extra if you feel as though the service was exceptional.  If these costs are not included in your contract, be sure to call ahead and ask how many of each will be at the wedding, so you can figure out the tips beforehand.  Each bartender and waiter should get $20-$25.  Each bathroom, coatroom, and parking attendant should get between $1-$2 per guest or per car.  It is a good idea to pass out these tips before the actual wedding, so it will hopefully encourage them to provide you with outstanding service.

Reception Band or DJ

This is another situation where it is a case-by-case basis.  It all depends on the quality of the service they do and how closely they followed your suggested playlist.  It should be about $20-$25 per musician or $50-$150 for the DJ.  These tips should be given out by the person in charge or your tips at the end of the reception.

Transportation

This is another situation where gratuity is often stipulated in the contract.  If it is not, then a tip is expected assuming they show up on time and do not get lost on their way.  The tip should be 15-20% percent of the total bill.  These tips can be given at the end of the night or after your last ride in them.  If you provided guest busses using a different company, make sure to put someone in charge of providing them with a tip or have the best man do it.

Never feel obligated to give a tip if the service was not what you expected.  The most important thing to remember about some of these optional tips is that sometimes a thank-you note or a personal gift mean a lot more than cash.  

BBFN (Bridal Bliss for Now),

Olivia

The Skinny on Your Bridesmaid

Your engagement has been announced, you are in wedding planning bliss, the wedding date is sort of picked out and now is the time to pick your entourage. The tradition began in ancient times, bridesmaids were used as decoys to confuse evil sprits wanting to harm the bridal couple. The role has evolved into their modern day role as the brides’ assistants. As a bride-to-be, your “Girls” will play a key support role in planning your wedding.

A wedding is a production of many details. As the producer and director of this big day, an organized bride with clear direction will be much appreciated. Beyond selecting the bridesmaids’ dresses, partying at your bachelorette party, and dancing with groomsmen, there are few “bridesmaid duties” that can be delegated to your helpful bridal party.

Calling upon Venues
List a few venues for your bridesmaid to call. Have her check on the availability of the date, space and wedding packages. As a bride you may be interested in as many as 30 venues. This will alleviate the overwhelming pressure of countless calls.

Bridal Shows
Designate one of your bridesmaids to register you for bridal shows, special events or special offers. Set up a “Couple’s Wedding Email” address so that all the information can be directed to your wedding inbox.

Favor Party
Have a bridesmaid troll websites looking for trendy favor ideas. Have her email you pictures or website links to view these products. Have her organize a “Favor Party” if you select a product that may require personalization.

Rehearsal
Bridesmaids can execute administrative duties by creating a “Rehearsal Packet” for the bridal party. The packet should include information such as the timeline, photo schedule, when and where they need to be. This information can be organized and emailed to the bridal party. A copy should also be made for distribution at the ceremony rehearsal.


Out of town guests
One of your bridesmaids can organize “Things to do in our Town” information for your out of town guests. Information can include places of special interest, popular restaurants, shopping malls, transportation and contact information in case of any emergency.

Placecards
Most venues will set up your placecards on the day of the wedding. Have a bridesmaid cross check your master guest list against the placecards. Once they are double checked, place them in alphabetical order, and have a box ready for delivery to the venue. Do not forget to include you master guest list.


Your bridal party is there to assist you with your wedding day. It is an honor for them to be part of your special guests. They understand that you may reach out to them beyond just planning bridal showers and the bachelorette party. Go ahead, get them involved, you will be pleasantly surprised how much support they can lend to their bride and her big day.

BBFN, (Bridal Bliss for Now)
Olivia

Inspiration and Scissors

Have you ever seen a Bride’s notebook? I have, and it has notes, doodles, and vendor interviews, but most importantly, it has bridal magazine clippings of her dream wedding. In the notebook you will find a picture of her perfect dress, her bouquet, colors that she loves and flowers that she has fallen in love with. For a floral designer, nothing produces a successful meeting more than seeing what the bride’s vision entails. It may seem that your choices are disparate, but sorting through pictures to find your style can transform your wedding day into a personalized, branded, event.

Fairy tale weddings can only be reigned in by a budget. Drama of tall centerpieces, mood set with specialty lighting, lounge furniture by the bar and graceful linens, they do add up. The second largest slice of the budget, after the venue, is definitely given to the floral and décor expense. The impact of a $20,000 floral budget will not be the same as $7,000 budget, but how you maximize it will certainly define your event. Instead of creating $200 centerpieces mix and match the room with some high centerpieces and some low centerpieces. Linens are the least expensive option to add impact to the event design. If you work with a full service event studio the threads of your vision can be presented to you with a complete visual sampling.



So I say to the Brides, find a good pair of scissors and cut out as many pictures as you can of centerpieces. If attending a wedding, take pictures with your cell phone of things that you like, but also of things that you do not want at your wedding. Be Blissful, Be Inspired, Be an Artists Palette.

BBFN
Olivia

Torn Between Place Cards and Scrolls?

This week our guest Blogger is Mahvish Bhatty, Event Architect.

You’re getting close to your wedding date, responses are in, and you are now ready to develop a seating chart for your guests, but you cannot decide on which method is right for you. Well you have two options, 1st the boring method, Place Cards, which has been used for many weddings or 2nd, the new and exciting method, Scrolls, which hasn’t been used by many couples.



(Special thanks to Timothy Whaley & Associates for the picture)

Now you are thinking, what’s the difference between the two? Well, a Place Card is a small card with the name of a guest(s) on it, placed on the table, to indicate where he or she is to sit. Place Cards can be enhanced by being set in a special holder, and they can be served as a favor as well. However, some of holders can take quite a bit of space on the Place Card table. This can be a problem if your guest count is exceeding 300 or more guests. When deciding on a Place Card, the sky is the limit on your options, and when intermixing with Place Card holders, this can be the more expensive option.

As for Scrolls, they’re an elegant, and preferable, alternative to Placecards. The seating scroll, or wedding seating chart, can be hung from a beautiful stand, and is displayed at the entrance of the reception venue. It contains the names of all the guests, along with the table they will be seated at. The names are in alphabetical order, and split into letter sections, in order to easily find a guest's name. The seating scroll is also a great keepsake of your wedding. You get to keep it as a wonderful reminder of your special day and all those who attended! Another benefit is that you don’t have to deal with developing 300+ cards, and alphabetizing them by last names.

A scroll can be developed by simple software and given to the décor vendor or printer to print and display outside the reception space. Another great benefit is that you don’t have to deal with guests who have picked up their Place Cards but then lose it while having a great time during the cocktail hour.

If you are looking for something trendy, choose the Scroll. Your decorator should have several great ideas for incorporating the scroll into your overall room design. By placing it on a wall of candles it will become a great décor piece for the cocktail hour and the sweet table. Best of all, the scroll will be displayed all night and if anyone forgets their table number, then they can always get back to the scroll to verify. Not only that, you’ll know where your family and friends are sitting so after dinner you can quickly find them.

If I was in charge of your wedding, I would definitely recommend you choose the Scroll. This will definitely be the talk of your wedding, it will be something new, and not the same way of seating your guests that has been done time after time. Now the decision is all yours…

Whatever you choose I hope you are inspired as you work on seating your guests.

BBFN,
Olivia

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Are All Bridal Shows the Same?

Today Melanie Stancampiano is filling in for me again. She assists in coordinating Bridal Bliss events at Oliveaire and is going to share information about Bridal Shows.

You’ve got the ring, you’ve called your family and friends to share your good news, and now, you are going to attend a Bridal Expo to start the journey of planning your big day.

Depending on where you live, and the time of year, you will likely find a wide variety of expos, trunk shows, boutique events and Bridal seminars to attend, all geared to helping you plan the perfect day. Each show has its own unique, creative format for providing this information. Feeling overwhelmed as to which showcases to attend?





Here are some tips and tricks to help you figure out which shows are best for you to attend:

Define your expectation of the show:
What are you looking to get from the show? If you are looking to gather information and special offers from a large number of vendors about their services, then one of the larger shows is a great place to start. If you are looking for design inspiration, be sure to look for a show that is being hosted by a décor company. Wanting a better idea on how to start planning your wedding? Look for a show that features a wedding planner to help point you in the right direction.

Decide how much you are willing to spend on a ticket:
There is a wide variance in the cost of these events, some are free and some can cost upwards of $100. One factor in cost is whether the show is an event itself, what kind of food and beverage, if any, is being served. Another consideration is what you, as the bride, will take away from the event. Will you get a Swag Bag full of goodies? Are the proceeds of the event benefiting a local charity?

Are you looking for an intimate experience or a large crowd?
Some events will draw hundreds of brides and their friends and families. Some smaller shows will only have 10 – 20 brides in attendance and will offer a more intimate experience for the attendees. You have to decide in which setting you will be more comfortable and take it from there.

What shows are your already selected vendors participating in?
Already picked a unique venue, florist with a very modern style or an in-demand photographer? Find out what shows they are participating in. It is likely that you will find vendors with similar style in attendance. This is a great opportunity to meet those vendors in person and set-up appointments to discuss their services.

As you can see, all shows are not the same, but they all have something to offer. Now you just have to figure out the best shows to meet your needs. No matter which show you decide to attend, you will surely have a good time and take away information that will help you plan your day.

Best of luck, and I hope to see you at one of our events!

BBFN (Bridal Bliss For Now),
Olivia

Hiring a Day Of Wedding Coordinator

VS.

Pictures provided by weddingpros.wordpress


If you have made the decision to hire a wedding planner to manage your Day of Wedding Coordination, congratulations, you are now a BLISS bride. More and more brides feel the stress of the wedding day, and elect to let a professional take over to fine tune the details, and oversee the execution of those details on the day of their wedding. Service is subjective. What should you expect from a planner for retaining their Day of Coordination service? Here are some tips:

Define Your Expectation:
Remember they are being retained to oversee your day of details. It means that you, as a bride, will coordinate and plan the details leading up to the wedding. A good wedding planner will organize your details for a flawless execution. Planners work with a plethora of forms that detail every segment of the wedding. Have the planner show you her forms, which will be utilized in executing your event.

Hours of Service:
A Day of Coordination package must include at least 11 hours of service. Typically 1 hr is reserved for rehearsal and 10 hrs are for the day of event. Use the time wisely. Planners are extremely important during the beginning of the day. If your ceremony is planned for 2pm and your make-up hair, vendor set up and pictures are scheduled for 11:00a.m., retain the service from 10:30a.m. to 8:30p.m.. If you are not done with the important details by 8:30p.m. consider adding a couple of hours to the package. An Event Assistant is typically included in the package.

How to Choose the Right Planner:
There are some great seasoned planners, that may cost more, and then there are some planners starting out in the business that charge less. I personally would want the best to take care of my wedding, especially when so much is invested in it. I would want someone with experience, so that when it came time to make hard decisions they can draw from their experience and make the right one. I want them to be a leader, so that clear directions are given to the vendors, and excellent service to my guests. But most importantly, I would want to make sure that they have a well trained event support team, so that my event is not dependent on just one person.

Cost:
A traditional Day of Coordination package can cost from $2500, for an experienced planning company, to $1200 for a novice. If your event is a sophisticated, detail driven and vendor loaded program, I would opt for an experienced planner. The $1300 will be well worth paying for, if it means the best are orchestrating your event. Some ethnic events, with traditions and cultural influence, may require longer hours and multiple days. For such events expect to pay slightly more, the size of the event can impact the price.

What not to expect from a planner:
Planners are there to oversee your vendors, making sure that they are performing as they have been contracted to do. Also making sure that Aunt Mae gets her low sodium vegetarian meal, and your Bridesmaid is not lost when it comes time to take pictures. Resourceful planners are experts in all arenas of wedding planning. However, they are not florists, photographers, cake decorators, chair cover installers, butlers or bellman. They are quick to get a team that will deliver these types of service, but cannot be expected to put together your centerpieces on the day of your wedding. However, some planners may be able to offer such services for additional cost. Remember, you are paying at least $1200 to your planner. If you are using her to add flowers to the table, or move wedding inventory from church to reception venue, you are definitely overpaying for those tasks. Let your planner manage the other vendors to most effectively execute your vision.

Your wedding day is about you and your groom. There should not be any need for a bride to micromanage her vendors, or stand by the placecard table assisting guests to find their escort cards. If your budget allows, at a minimum hire a “Day of Coordinator.” I promise you that you will look back at your wedding day and know the second most important person on your big day was your Wedding Planner.

BBFN (Bridal Bliss for Now)
Olivia

Are Wedding Planners Overrated?

They are pushy, overbearing, want to work with only certain vendors and spend extra money. These are some of the fears of hiring a Wedding Planner. Are they overrated?? Absolutely NOT. These days, with a busy lifestyle and overwhelming resources on how to plan your wedding, you need the savvy planner, that can guide you through the production of planning a stunning wedding. Does it take a rocket scientist to plan a wedding? No. But it does require skills and knowledge, and most importantly, resources to bring your wedding vision to a fairytale ending. A bride that has a wedding budget of at least $20,000 must invest in, at the minimum, a Day of Coordinator, so that she, her groom and their families can enjoy their celebration of marriage. For those brides that need a branded event, with each detail reflecting the couple’s personality, a complete planning package is worth its weight in gold.

Ladies, wedding planners are no longer a luxury, but a much needed investment into your wedding celebration. Still curious about those things you have heard about planners? I am going to tackle some of the urban legends about “The Wedding Planner”:

Are planners overbearing and pushy?

Planners keep themselves on the cutting edge of the wedding trends. They want to amaze you with their talent and wow your guests. Not all trends can fit into a couple’s budget. So clearly define your expectation and your budget. Sit back, relax and let your planner showcase all that can fit into your budget. But keep in mind, not all ideas may reflect your wedding vision. For some couples this is the time to express this to the planner, and as necessary reevaluate their wants and needs within the realistic parameters of their budget.

This one I hear all the time, my venue has a wedding coordinator so there really is no need for me to spend additional money hiring a planner.

Catering/Venue Managers are wonderful people and do an excellent job. They know their particular venue inside out. However, they do work for the venue, and work within the job responsibility of the venue. They are a great resource for preferred vendors but are not able to analyze your vision and budget to match you with the right vendors. Depending on the size of the venue, they may be working with multiple brides on the same day. Just as you hired a photographer that is working for you and only taking your perfect wedding pictures, a planner works in your best interest to deliver perfect wedding memories.

It is not possible for just one person to organize and coordinate multiple event team partners for your event. It requires organization and leadership skills to direct and produce a wedding. A good wedding planning company will provide you with event support, skilled assistants and a back up planner for your peace of mind. So make sure to do your research and ask the right questions. Your planner will be your best friend and will cry as she queues you to walk down the aisle.

Until next week
BBFN (Bridal Bliss for Now)

Olivia