It goes without saying that traditional wedding registries and etiquette don’t always apply to couples living in the 21st century. These days, couples are waiting longer to get married, and many decide to cohabitate together before marriage, which results in less of a need for the nest-building housewares that have traditionally graced wedding registries.
When my husband Ben and I got engaged, we had already dated for 7 years, and had most of our household necessities. Still, we felt pressured to register for traditional items that we didn’t need, but that we thought people would want or expect us to register for. After looking over our registry at a list of things we were sure would end up gathering dust on a shelf, in a fit of inspiration and rebellion (and being the foodies we are), we created a list of restaurants we loved or wanted to try. The “restaurant registry” was a great success with our guests, gave us date nights for months, and made us realize that ultimately, doing what was best for us as a couple was the best thing to do.
The wedding registry process can be tricky, especially when trying – as all of us do – to please everyone. In the spirit of the independent and diverse modern couple, we thought we would share some of our favorite modern wedding registry tips.
DO register online. This is almost a given for modern couples. Online wedding registries are infinitely more convenient for both guests and receivers. It’s fine to provide a few pick-up options for older or more traditionally-minded guests, but just keep in mind that most of your guests will prefer to purchase their gift online.
DON’T include your registries on your invitations. This is one registry rule that stands the test of time. The main reason is because you don’t want to take any emphasis away from the primary purpose of the invitation – to ask that your friends and loved ones be present at one of the most specials moments in your life.
DO make your wedding registry easily accessible. Word of mouth may be the traditional way of telling guests where you’re registered, but in modern times it is all but impractical. Instead, link to your wedding registry on your wedding webpage, which we highly encourage you to create. Most wedding webpages are free to create and serve as a central online hub of information for your wedding guests. You can also include the URL of your wedding webpage on invitations.
DON’T forget to update your registries on a regular basis. Often times, certain items will be out of stock or get discontinued. Try to monitor them at least once a month to prevent any inconveniences for guests.
DO register for items that reflect you as a couple. If you and your future spouse are avid rock climbers or amateur chefs, why not register for rock climbing gear or cooking classes? In other words, don’t feel pressured to register for things you don’t really want or need. There are many exciting alternative registry options available now, from honeymoon and charity registries, to our own Foodie Registry. You can also go the DIY route and create your own wedding registry!
DON’T wait until the last minute to register. Complete your wedding registries up to 6 months, and no later than 2 months in advance of the wedding, in order to give your guests plenty of time to choose and purchase their gifts.
DO provide a variety of options for guests. That includes a variety of price points, items and registries. We advocate doing what’s best for you as a couple, but we also think it’s polite to think of your guests. If you know your friends will have to travel far for the wedding or have smaller budgets, or if Aunt Edna has always wanted to give you a set of flatware, consider these things accordingly while shaping your registry.
DON’T be afraid to register for what you want. If you already have your towels and spatulas, don’t be afraid to register for things (or experiences!) you actually want and will use. You’ll find that many guests will not only love having some fresh or unique items to choose from, but will appreciate knowing their gift will be truly enjoyed.
DO read FAQs and check for hidden fees before setting up a registry. Unfortunately some registries have added costs, either for you or your guests. Make sure that you are not choosing registries that will charge your guests a service fee.
Jennifer a.k.a. @mrsfoodiereg started Foodie Registry with her husband Ben in 2010, after eschewing the traditional registry at their own wedding in 2008 and creating a “restaurant registry” instead. The registry was a huge hit with guests, and Foodie Registry was born.
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