Guest Blog: Point of View from the Mother of the Groom

Where Do I Start?

What kind of dress do you wear?

From my personal experience, picking out my dress was an easy one. It was pure luck and great timing. I didn’t know what style I was and it turned out to be a combination of modern and elegant and I narrowed down three dresses within 45 minutes. What was truly important for me is to getting my future daughter-in-law’s approval and that my dress was ultra-comfortable and I got both.

What is your style – modern, glamorous, classic, romantic, elegant, over-the-top, or are you not even sure? If you do choose a dress, it is highly advisable not to choose anything that can be considered over-the-top. Even if your son or daughter is a rock star or Lady Gaga, your dress should be just one level simpler. Your dress should not look similar to the bride’s, or the other Mom’s dress for obvious reasons, but you also do not want to clash with the bride’s vision. There are thousands of dresses to choose from so the following tips may help you narrow down your choices:

Modern – look for clean lines with a unique neckline, color should be unique and accessories do not have to match the dress. Your dress should be easily worn again at a modern art museum gala or even another wedding with simpler jewelry and accessories.

Glamorous – a toned down version of going to the Oscars is the look for you. Do not show too much skin, but explore dresses with one shoulder strap or a halter top. You need not borrow your diamonds from Tiffany or Harry Winston, but diamonds, or similar gems, should make great accessories. Again, this can be worn again at a posh event where you can lose the jacket or shawl.

Classic – this style of dress is a simple style but can be in a striking color like salmon or teal. A suit or non-trendy dress will suffice with pearls and low heels or sandals. This outfit can be worn again at a fundraiser, luncheon or a holiday party by just changing the accessories.

Romantic – Silk, chiffon and ruffles are good features to look for and you want to pull out that old broach or the earrings your hubby gave you for your first anniversary to add as sentiments. This can be worn again at a fundraising event or wedding anniversary party.

Elegant – A mixture or taffeta, silk and lace might be involved, a jacket or shawl to cover the arms, pearls and diamonds are the perfect jewelry. The skirt or bottom half may be a simple cut but the jacket or top may be slightly off the shoulder. Like the other dresses, this can worn again at special occasions with a slight change of jewelry or jackets.

If you don’t know what style looks best on you, and you have no experience being the Mom of the Groom or Bride, do what a bride does. Make an appointment at a bridal salon and try on several gowns of style and color. Do you need to buy one as soon as possible? Yes, if the wedding is less than six months away and need to be ordered. If you are shopping at a department store, you can buy it right then and there or wherever available.

If you decide to wear a shorter dress, make sure it is knee-length or below. Since your feet will show more, make sure to wear a visually appealing pair of shoes. It is also not unusual these days to have a second pair to change into for comfort after a few dances.

You can still apply the above styles even for casual beach or outdoor weddings. You may replace the material with cotton, silk or gauzy, colorful textures but keep the elegance keeping the event in mind.

This is one of the most important days of your child’s life and you should look beautiful. You want to look “presentable” but in your own style and personality. What is the big deal about the Mom’s dress? Your dress is just as important as the bridal parties’ wardrobe, and other than the bride and groom, the parents’ role is highly respected when their children are taking this huge step in their lives. This is not her basketball game or his track meet you’re going to, this is THE day.

It’s Not Just the Dress

Use professionals, if possible, to apply makeup and hair. The main reason is you want to look good for almost 12 hours straight. Professionals know what makeup or hair products to use to sustain your look for that long with minimal application from you during the festivities.

Let the florist know ahead of time what kind of corsage you prefer to have – a wrist or a pinned corsage to better suit your dress. It’s a little difficult to pin a corsage on certain dresses.

Keep the balanced look in mind. Be poised, and no slouching for the first few hours at least. Putting up your feet and relaxing in the last hour or two is very excusable. One of the worst accessories is too much drinking. It’s great to celebrate and dance the night away but no matter how beautiful you look, you will simply not look very “balanced” acting silly or passed out. Digital cameras are everywhere and you do not want that photo taken. So drink water or soda in between to keep hydrated.

Final Tip

The final tip is once you have narrowed down your choices to a few dresses, ask the bride to help you choose. It will make her feel respected and if it happens to be your future daughter-in-law, she will definitely appreciate it. If it’s your daughter, she will appreciate any time she has with you before she officially leaves your home, and that her opinion matters. If it’s your son, just show your final set of choices by showing him photos even if he has an opinion or not. He will still appreciate your enthusiasm and participation on his important day.

BBFN (Bridal Bliss For Now), 

Adel Domingo 

(Guest Blogger) 

Wedding To Do Lists

Let’s face it, no matter how hard you try to stretch them, there are only 24 hours in a day. Take out the time you need for your work, sleeping, socializing, working out, and errand time – that leaves you with not much time to plan your wedding, unless you delegate.

The first thing a bride and groom should do is figure out how much time they can, and should, devote to planning their wedding. Every day, one day a week, or plan for a full straight month and get it over with?

Also, couples need to analyze their lifestyle and personalities at the current time. For example, is she busy at work? Is he working on his master’s degree? Is she super organized, or not? Is she a control freak? Is it the couple’s preference to spend time with their family and friends, etc. Life, or time, does not stop when you’re planning a wedding.  

Finally, a bride and groom are usually afraid to give up control of their wedding fearing they will lose that vision they have in mind. Who can blame them, it’s their day. So, what are they willing to let go of?

What should you delegate and to whom?

Delegate is a great word, when used wisely. We all delegate in some way. We look to experts to do our taxes, car repair, and even clean our car, because we either do not have the time or we’re just not good at it. A wedding, big or small, cannot happen unless a bride and groom share the celebration and tasks with other people.

If at all possible, leave it to the professionals. If you don’t know how to make centerpieces, hire a florist. If you don’t know how to sew, buy your dress. If you have a friend or relative who loves designing invitations, there you go! Hiring a wedding coordinator is ideal, because a coordinator can guide you thru almost everything. Even wedding planners hire other planners to help them, because they want to make sure your day goes off without a hitch. But the reality is, in today’s economy, and with our hectic schedules, we cannot afford to hire everybody we would like to help us.

So here’s what you do:

•   Find a few people in your life that you trust and are dependable.
• Give them a few small tasks at a time.
• Be specific: Don’t ask sweet Aunt Joan to “Call restaurants” for your rehearsal dinner, give her a detailed list to call and with a specific list of questions for each.
• Giving volunteers reasonable tasks will make them feel like they’re helping with your celebration, not serving as your personal assistant.
• Take the hardest task that is on your list and break it down into small tasks, and ask your bridesmaids to help you. You know which task that is – finding everybody’s address, the seating chart, the RSVPs, etc.
• Give your fiancé a task like buying the groomsmen gifts. You laugh? Give them a task, but remember break down that task. For example, determine your budget, then figure out your groomsmen’s style and personality, find a theme, and validate his ideas. You can give him ideas, but you should have him make the decision on what kind of gifts.
• Use a real checklist and check off what you accomplish.
• Don’t make the list too complicated, but do add who is assigned to each task.
• If you don’t have a list, you can’t see what you’ve done so far, or not.
• Only use one to-do list at a time.
• Do hire professionals for certain tasks.
• Don’t over delegate, even (especially!) to yourself.
• Don’t under delegate, unless your helper is your 5-year old flower girl.
• Be grateful and show appreciation to your helpers. Saying thank you and giving them a hug is often enough.
• After you read this, start your checklist.

BBFN (Bridal Bliss For Now), 

Olivia 

Honeymoon Spots to Dream About!

Planning the perfect wedding has been all encompassing - lets be honest, its been a stressful experience leading up to the execution of a successful event. Like every Bride and Groom - you are so looking forward to the honeymoon, but where will you go?  You can always rely on the all time favorites such as Hawaii, the Caribbean or Mexico, but we want to introduce you to some secrets that are out there.  These small boutique properties are a unique place for a romantic hideaway, simply a place to breathe and relax.  Here are our top seven lesser known places, sure to make many future top 10 lists:

Spinalonga Island – Elounda, Crete

“In this special time of your life, let us make your honeymoon in Greece a time to remember. Domes of Elounda honeymoon resort specializes in creating the honeymoon of your dreams. Located in Elounda, Crete, one of the most exclusive romantic destinations of the world, let us cater to your needs while you immerse yourself in luxury and celebrate your love. Whether you plan on relaxing in your honeymoon suite by your personal pool, soaking in the sun on our sandy beach by the crystal blue waters of the Mediterranean, or self indulging at the Domes spa we have ensured that your honeymoon in Greece will be more than you ever imagined!”

 

Golden Bear Lodge – Punta Cana, Dominican Republic

Each of the Golden Bear Lodge’s guest rooms and suites come complete with chic furnishings, marble bathrooms, and impressive ocean views of the sparkling Caribbean.  At the Golden Bear Lodge the hours will pass in a haze of relaxation and peace, making you seriously consider missing your flight back home.

  

Royal Davui Island Resort - Fiji Islands

On this remote island escape you’ll find the emphasis is on privacy and rustic luxury living. Individually designed to fit amongst the rocks and old-growth forest are just sixteen 'vales', each featuring a living room and bedroom in separate buildings joined by a hallway, with a private plunge pool off the living room balcony. Days are as relaxing or as active as you want them to be – Beqa Lagoon is renowned for some of Fiji's best diving locations and divers will find everything from soft coral to shipwrecks within the protective lagoon reef system. Designed to complement the climate, menus consist of seasonal ingredients and fresh seafood makes a daily appearance.

   

Riveria Maya – Cancun, Mexico

Unique cottage features include screened porches, fireplaces, quietly lavish décor, luxurious bathrooms, linens and amenities, and outdoor showers under the canopy of the forest.  Escape to the comfort of our spa nestled up amongst the treetops or keep you feet firmly planted on the ground and explore our organic farm, there is something for everyone.

  

Kamalame Cay – Andros Island, Bahamas

Kamalame Cay is a 96-acre private island hideaway with three miles of sugar soft sandy beaches.  This barrier island is accessible only by private ferry or seaplane.  A handful of gracefully decorated private villas dot this island escape and face a rhythmic ocean surf that will lull you into an attitude that requires only bare feet, suntan lotion, and a cocktail, making Kamalame Cay the perfect place for romance.

 

Sivory Punta Cana – Dominican Republic

Set along the shores of a private beach which stretches as far as the eye can see, this boutique resort is the ideal place to enjoy the tropical paradise of the Domincan Republic.  When you visit the Sivory expect to bask in an oasis of exclusive pleasures where your worries, stress and the wedding planning grind are all banished to the horizon.

 

  

Villa Feltrinelli – Gargnano, Italy

Villa Feltrinelli, is situated along the shores of Lake Garda, a grand hotel boasting an atmosphere of casual elegance, high style, and historical importance.  Outside the majestic villa lies a magnificent swimming pool, where guests can sit back and take in the splendid views over the mountains of northern Italy.  All in all, when history and luxury combine with style and serenity, beautiful moments abound.

 

So whether you like the traditional favorites or prefer the unique; whatever you choose make sure to have the time of your new (married) life!!!!

BBFN (Bridal Bliss for Now), 

Olivia

The Reality to Planning Your Wedding

I love watching “Say Yes to the Dress” as much as the next girl. WE tv can distract me for a few hours at a time as I watch couples navigate all of the decisions that go into wedding planning. However, as someone who works in the wedding industry I am watching from a different point of view than a bride-to-be or single girl daydreaming about her big day.

Reality TV does a great job of inspiring brides. The best, brightest and most cutting edge trends are highlighted for all to enjoy. Wedding related television shows have guided brides in their gown style, inspired décor and bridal party attire color selections and no doubt helped to create some fantastic celebrations.

 

However, I fear that reality TV has also given brides some unrealistic expectations when it comes to their big day. Many of these shows do not disclose costs, or at least the full cost of their wedding. For example, it is common to see a bride with a $3,000 budget for a wedding gown on television. Given that the gown is often budgeted at 5% of the total wedding cost, we can guess that this gown is part of a $60,000 wedding. The average wedding cost in the United States is $24,000, which creates an average gown budget of $1,200, quite a difference.

There are also costs that are unseen to the untrained eye. In addition to the base cost of any wedding related item you need to leave room in your budget to account for tax (often close to 10%), labor, shipping and/or delivery and service charges (most commonly found with your caterer or venue).  These fees can range anywhere from 18% to 24% of your total bill. This will grow proportionally with your overall wedding budget.

Finally, for better or worse, there needs to be accommodation for the cost of living in different locations. The price of labor will likely be higher in a large metropolitan city (i.e. Chicago, New York) than it is in a smaller city. If you have your heart set on a product only available in a larger city you may end up paying more in shipping fees to get it to you. This information is not meant to scare you, rather provide you information to set realistic expectations.

Floral designers, bridal gown consultants, and wedding planners truly do love when an inspired bride comes in. It is lovely to work with a couple who know what they are looking for on their wedding day. So, watch all the reality tv you would like to, and keep notes on your favorite ideas. When it comes time to start your planning, be up front and realistic with your budget. Hire professionals you trust, and work with them to create the day that you have been dreaming of.

BBFN (Bridal Bliss For Now),

Olivia

Deciding on your Wedding Dress

Before you even begin shopping for your bridal gown I am sure you already know what type of dress you want. Most brides have an image in their mind about how they want to look on their wedding day. There’s a certain feel that every bride wants to portray.

This can all change when you go to try on gowns, and fall in love with more than one. Of course the dresses will be completely opposite styles, and now you are torn. Why not do both? As a planner, I have been seeing this more and more. During the ceremony brides will wear the most elegant, classic, traditional gown, but then during the reception they do a wardrobe change and come out in a dress that really shows their unique personality.

After wearing your amazing, traditional, dress during the ceremony, you may find it is not functional for the night of dancing, mingling and fun you have ahead. Go for comfort! Lets be honest, your perfect dress is amazing but it can be heavy and stiff, and you may be concerned about the delicate details. As a bride you may also be looking for a WOW factor. Arriving to your reception in a different gown is a great way to capture your guests’ attention when you walk in as MR. and MRS!

To be realistic, not all of us have the budget to have both. Every wedding detail costs something and I know you want to stay as close to your budget as possible. If you can’t afford a second gown, why not look into convertible dresses? There are so many beautiful dresses that can be worn during you’re traditional ceremony, but during the reception the heavy train can be removed! How perfect is that? Two in one! You can also change up the look of your gown by adding or removing sleeves or straps, splashing a little bit of color with a ribbon or other detailing, or by changing into fabulous shoes. This will definitely create a more fun, ready to celebrate look!

So, you love your dress, but are still looking to create a spectacular grand entrance with a new twist? Change up your jewelry. Add some more bling, bigger bracelets, bigger earrings! Or literally let your hair loose! If you have an up do, how about changing it up and wearing some loose curls? You can also change your make-up look. See if your make-up artist can change up your eyes and lips to have more of a night time look. Ask your hair and make-up stylists for different tips and different looks that can be done to create a more dramatic feel!  

One gown or two? DO BOTH! INDULGE! This is your day!

Too pricey? You can still create two remarkable looks at a lower cost! Use your imagination and create something that is uniquely you!

BBFN (Bridal Bliss For Now), 

Olivia

Guide to Tipping

When it comes to your big day tipping your vendors and reception attendants is probably the last thing on your mind.  It is, however, a service industry standard practice.  Luckily there is a simple way to know how much to tip each person.  Before we get to the nitty-gritty of dollar and cents for tipping those who have helped in your special day, there are a few details to take care of.

First, please understand that a tip is never an obligation, unless it clearly states in your contract that a service charge is necessary.  Even though not all contracts will say that a service charge is expected, most vendors will expect a gratuity from you.  It is up to you as to whether or not you would like to tip them.  Remember that you are not tipping the owners of these businesses, just their employees who are actually doing the service such as delivering décor or a cake.  You can, however, tip the business owner if their service goes above and beyond your expectations.  If you do not want to offer a monetary thank you, simple thank you notes go a very long way as well.

Secondly, make sure that you have assigned someone to take care of handing out all of the tips for you.  This can be a maid of honor, best man, a close family member or friend who is not in the wedding party, or your wedding planner if you have one.  Although it may seem impossible to think of relinquishing control over such amounts of money and entrusting them to someone else, it is not a detail a bride or groom should be worrying about on their big day.  The wedding day should be as stress free as possible and you should be doing no running around to find the appropriate people you need to tip. 

Below you can find a brief breakdown of specific people to tip, how much to tip them, and when the person in charge should hand out the tips.

Wedding Planner

This is one of those case-by-case scenarios.  If your wedding planner was exceptional, then you will likely want to tip them.  Be aware that they do not expect anything from you in the form of a gratuity, but even a simple thank you note with professional pictures are always appreciated  If you do want to provide some form of gratuity, then it can be a nice gift or 15% of the fee they charged.  This tip can be done at the end of the reception by the bride and groom themselves or can be mailed after the honeymoon.

The Beauty Team (Hair and Make-up Artist)

When you are getting your hair and make-up done for any event or even just on a day-to-day basis, a tip is always expected.  Your wedding is no different.  In fact, giving a tip to them on your wedding day is even more important than any other time.  You should be tipping them 15-20% and if they have to take care of extras such a fixing someone’s hair or touching up the make-up, then be sure to throw in a little extra.  These tips should be taken care of at the end of your services. 

Delivery and Set-Up Staff

These tips go to anyone who is delivering anything for your wedding or to your suite for the big day.  They should only be about $5-$10 per person depending on how much they are delivering and how far they have to go to deliver.  You can give these tips to the catering manager or to your wedding planner before the event, so they can hand them out as the deliveries are made.

Those who pronounce you man and wife (The Wedding Officiant)

The wedding officiant is never expected to be tipped.  If he or she belongs to a church, synagogue, or temple, then it is customary to make a donation to that place of worship.  If you are a member, this may impact the amount you decide to donate.  If you are also paying to use their venue for the reception, feel free to tip a smaller amount since they are charging you to rent out the space.  If you are having a nondenominational officiant at a non-religious venue, then they will charge you for their services, so no tip is expected. As a general guideline, expect to make a donation of approximately $500 to the temple, church, or synagogue and you can give an optional tip of $50-$100 to a nondenominational officiant if you are exceptionally pleased with their services.  These tips and donations can be done before the wedding, or if the officiant is at your rehearsal dinner, then the person in charge of tips can pass it to them.

Wedding Shutterbugs and Movie Makers (Photographer/Videographer)

You are never expected to tip the photographer or videographer if they are the owner of the studio, but if they are not, then consider giving each person a tip of $50-$200 per vendor at the end of the reception. 

Wedding Reception Staff

The wedding reception staff will include your on-site coordinator, banquet manager, and head waiter.  These people usually have an approximate 2% service fee built in to the contract, but if they do not, then a tip is necessary.  The tip for each should be 15-20 % of the cost of labor for the food and beverage.  These tips are taken care of before the wedding if they are included in the contract; otherwise you need to wait until the end of the reception, so you have the final bill to figure out percentages.

Wedding Reception Attendants

This includes your bartenders, waiters, parking, bathroom, and coat-room attendants if you have them.  Deciding how much to tip them can usually be found in your contract.  You can always tip extra if you feel as though the service was exceptional.  If these costs are not included in your contract, be sure to call ahead and ask how many of each will be at the wedding, so you can figure out the tips beforehand.  Each bartender and waiter should get $20-$25.  Each bathroom, coatroom, and parking attendant should get between $1-$2 per guest or per car.  It is a good idea to pass out these tips before the actual wedding, so it will hopefully encourage them to provide you with outstanding service.

Reception Band or DJ

This is another situation where it is a case-by-case basis.  It all depends on the quality of the service they do and how closely they followed your suggested playlist.  It should be about $20-$25 per musician or $50-$150 for the DJ.  These tips should be given out by the person in charge or your tips at the end of the reception.

Transportation

This is another situation where gratuity is often stipulated in the contract.  If it is not, then a tip is expected assuming they show up on time and do not get lost on their way.  The tip should be 15-20% percent of the total bill.  These tips can be given at the end of the night or after your last ride in them.  If you provided guest busses using a different company, make sure to put someone in charge of providing them with a tip or have the best man do it.

Never feel obligated to give a tip if the service was not what you expected.  The most important thing to remember about some of these optional tips is that sometimes a thank-you note or a personal gift mean a lot more than cash.  

BBFN (Bridal Bliss For Now),

Olivia

Design Tips from an Expert

It is hard to be invited to a friend or family members wedding as a designer, I am always working on the weekend. On a rare occasion few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of attending a wedding as a guest. It’s a different world when you get to be a guest, enjoying a Raspberry Lime martini and tenderloin on a crostini, with a dollop of crème fraise.

I heard a chime signaling me up into the ballroom, and as I entered I was……… not sure what I was.

There were beautiful flowers, the lighting was just perfect and linens had set the stage for an elegant dining experience. But, the candles surrounding the centerpieces and floating in the tall cylinder were not lit. At that moment I saw the bridesmaids and the Banquet Captain approach each table to light the candles. Unfortunately not all of the wicks were to ready to be lit, so the whole process was a bit challenging. 

This experience got me thinking about the pampering each of our Event Designers and Creative Director at Oliveaire strives to provide for our brides and grooms. We work to make each wedding a perfect day for our clients, and how this is truly an “Oliveaire experience”.  But enough about that. 

I want to share some tips for the brides who are interviewing florists, or already working with a florist, to prevent some of the issues that may potentially arise on the day of your wedding:

1. If you have candles that are part of your centerpiece, and they are being provided by the florist, ask them who will be responsible for lighting them, and when they will be lit. You want to make sure that they are lit in your room photo shots, but are not lit so early that they burn halfway down by the time your guests enter the room.
2. The glass container that these stunning floral centerpieces reside in, are they yours to keep, or for guests to take home? Most of the time, unless written in the contract, glass containers are a rental item, and they are picked up at the end of the night.
3. Will the florist come back at the end of the wedding night to pick up all the glassware?  Your venue may dictate this policy.  They may want all vendors to clear out all items and inventory by certain time. 
4. Will the boutonnière include two pins, and will there be extra pins sent? Also, will they be individually labeled with the bridal party members’ names on it?  This will avoid any confusion as to whom the flowers belong too.
5. Is a sample floral centerpiece included?  This will give you the opportunity to admire your vision, as well as make any changes to your floral design in advance.

All you brides to be, your day will be breathtaking.  At the end of the day you will have transitioned from Miss to Mrs.

BBFN (Bridal Bliss for Now),

Olivia